The Best Calls

The funniest, weirdest, and most charming responses when we called London's top restaurants.

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First calls: Saturday 5 April 2026

We're calling 50 restaurants and recording every exchange. The best quotes, the confused bartenders, the ones who figured out our secret. All published here.

Far too cheap. You'll have to come in to find out the price.
Sample Restaurant Soho Chatty
About forty-five minutes, love. But it's worth it.
Sample Restaurant Shoreditch Proud Queuer
Who is this? Are you a robot?
Sample Restaurant Hackney Suspicious